One thing is certain. For a guy who is my age and of sound mind and body I am not right.

Right is that functional place between left over and passed on. Right is good. Right is the Bible. Right is the serpent going into the Garden of Eden. Right is perfect. That is what I am not.

This past year on March 11, 2011 Japan had a 9.0 earthquake. This past week I finished reading Kurt Vonnegut’s Timequake. At the end of Chapter 3 Kurt Vonnegut writes: “All I had to do was deliver a message he (Andrei Sakhorov) had sent. This was it ‘Don’t give up on nuclear energy.’ I spoke like a robot.”

Kurt Vonnegut's Timequake

Kurt Vonnegut's Timequake

The last time I read a Kurt Vonnegut book was in 1993 before last week. So be it.

 

Another thing is certain to me. I used to watch the news everyday until a few days after the Japanese earthquake. Libya was the topping on the cake. Most recently the shit-pile has been fed by the impending government shut-down or half-shutdown or what-the-fuck…

In 1995 I was at Fort Sill, OK I was just entering the Reception Battalion when our government did shut down. I was going to school there to become an Army soldier for the Virginia Army National Guard. I was in the 29th Infantry Division (Lt). I was also going to school there to become a forward observer.

There was a delay in my going to training. One week delay. We had to find things to do. The drill sergeant decided that I should cut the grass. I was shown the shed where a brand new Craftsman Lawnmower presented itself. It was a beautiful red and shiny mower. I checked the gas. We had fuel. I checked the oil. The reservoir was dry.

I said to the drill sergeant, “Do we have any oil?”

“Nope.” was his reply.

I looked at him with a respectful wordless “and?”

He said, “Just run the damn thing until it stops.”

I cut the grass all around the reception battalion and the mower never stopped until I parked it near the shed. I was finished. The mower did its job.

A week later I was in boot-camp.

You can’t write about a fucked-up world until you have lived in it. Nothing is right or perfect. We just move about pretending that we have goals, task and achievements. Some of us are lucky enough to overcome obstacles and survive.

I was married to my first wife then. The reason I joined the Army National Guard was because we were having a baby and I wanted to have benefits so that the baby would have health-care. Now I am divorced and re-married. The last time I saw my daughter she was four. Now she is 15 years old. I think that that is a very crappy thing.

I have since made any number you could conjure of mistakes, misgivings and misanthropic toils. I hate losing. I hate it very much. I accept that I have lost a great pissing contest. Many of us have.

I am forty-one years old. I was twenty-five when I was at Fort-Sill, OK.

I could be very angry about a lot of things but I am not. Why should I be? What good does it do anyone? So much bad news is about the angry idiots who have power. With natural disaster there is not much we can do angry or of cool heels. Otherwise there is mindless contribution to the problems we face.

So I am not right. I am not perfect. I am just a guy who has access to some resources. I am a struggling blade of grass. I think I will go back to bed now and get close to my wife. She loves me. She has given me a daughter, a son, two granddaughters and a home and a healthy life. I can thank her ex-husband for the progeny. I do thank him. I can be thankful for so many of the great parts of life that have presented themselves to me.

Tonight some people will loose loved ones. Tonight someone will die. Tonight some drunk will kill. Tonight a soldier will die. Tonight a sea turtle will gulp oil and choke to death. Tonight a baby will fart. It’s just like that.

In 1988 I was going to Thomas Nelson Community College or as we referred to it at the time Harvard by the Highway. I was 18 years old. I had a Mohawk. I was a member of the student council. I was a libertarian (read anarchist).

My best friend at the time was Raul. He was a Young Republican. Our mutual friend was Jim. He was a Young Democrat. We all met at a student government meeting. We had, as luck would find, all sat at the same table. We didn’t say much to each other before the meeting. Once the meeting began everyone was asked who they were and who they represented.

Jim introduced himself: “I am Jim Meisner and I am with the Young Democrats.”

Next was Raul: “I am Raul Carvajal and I am with the Young Republicans.”

I was the last in line at the table beside Raul. I had to think quick. I was not there with anyone. I was a Punk in a band called the K-9s. I was an anarchist. I said: “Hello, my name is Alex Nuttall and I am with the Libertarian Party.” I figured Libertarian was the most acceptable title for an anarchist.

Immediately Jim, Raul and I became friends. Three geeks who liked politics. Albeit dynamic discussions we got along quite well sometimes.

I was closest to Raul. He was a great friend. We had some very important talks. He told me that he did a paper one year on anarchism. He knew I was really an anarchist. He said that anarchism was closest to the Republican ideal than most people realized. Raul also gave me a Buddhist book that I have always appreciated. He said, “Alex, I think you will really like Buddhism. It’s not what other people say it is. Read about it.”

Jim and I were not so close. We locked horns like two mountain goats. One time he sent my ‘zine a letter telling me that anarchism had legal repercussions. I thought it was the dumbest smart letter I had ever gotten. Jim was an excellent writer and an extremely smart man. I published the letter in my ‘zine and shredded the logic as an epitaph to the letter. I thought I was very smart. I was an idiot who had access to a xerox machine.

As it happened Senator Herb Bateman1 came to our school for a political question and answer a few weeks later. This was sponsored by the Young Republicans. Rual said that I should attend and meet Mr. Bateman. After crying for 20 minutes on the uselessness of government and the evils of the Republican regime I said, “OK, I’ll go.”

I went to the meeting and listened to the pansy arguments and postulates of the students who were there. The Young Republicans were there kissing Herb’s ass. The Young Democrats were lamely debating the planks and platforms of Herb’s policy and the Republican king known as Ronald Reagan. After being a good boy and listening for 20 minutes I started to put my two-cents in.

“What about the legalization of Marijuana?” I asked. I was an avid reader of High Times magazine. I could care less about the subject. I never bought marijuana. (OK I did once, (twice, he is a compulsive liar –Ed.) but that’s another story)

I went on and said that marijuana was less dangerous than alcohol. More people were (and still are) killed by the use of alcohol and cigarettes. Herb rebutted with the “Our Culture” argument and that marijuana may be acceptable by other cultures but in ours cigarettes and tobacco were. They were the necessary acceptable evils. Herb was a very smart man.

I then countered with homosexual rights. We did not yet have Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell2 for the military. I went on about the evil war machine of the United States. (I later joined the Army in 1995.) Herb came back with great arguments to counter. I was livid, but I felt like at least he was listening to me.

After the forum. The Young Democrats and the Young Republicans got up, shook hands, patted each other on the back, and handed out compliments to themselves for erudition. Everyone, accept Raul, looked at me like I was Satan. That’s when I learned one of the most valuable and humbling things in life. Herb Bateman walked up to me and extended his hand. I extended mine. He said, “Great job!” and smiled.

Herb Bateman died September 11, 2000. From that day that I debated him to his passing I always respected him. I even voted for him several times. When you meet a man or woman no matter what flag they are flying that impression of who they are will always be the dominant force. That’s what Herb Bateman taught me. He looked at me as another man.

Footnotes:

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_H._Bateman
2. DADT Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed last December 2010.

20101123

Chatter. I went for my morning walk listening to NPR on the radio. North Korea and South Korea in a another pickle. Since it was artillery involved I somehow think about how glorious a mission it must have been for whoever started it first. Most of us believe it was the North that started it.

The real reason artillery exists is so that we can blow stuff up from far away without getting too close to the bad-guys. To me the whole North Korean and South Korean instance is like the Hatfields and McCoys. Of course I don’t know anything.

If you have ever fought with a relative, friend or neighbor then you know that it can get ugly. It’s a sad dynamic. What’s worse is that the suffering that is caused by this has nothing to do with the real issue in the first place. It is anger gone out of control. Anger is a typhoon that starts and eventually stops with mixed results but mostly pain.

The worst thing that we can do is act out of fear regarding this. Let’s face it there are children involved. Grown children with big toys and larger tempers. If we care about these people then we need to let them know it. If we don’t care about these people then they will find us and show us how they care for each other.

All over the place there is suffering and misconduct. All actions that produce this are based on individual selfish ideas that are justified by hate and anger. If I think that the Koreans are all crazy then I fail to see what is happening in my own back yard. This place we live on is a ball. There is no beginning but there is always the possibility of end. Whatever you can do, do it. Just make sure that its something worth discussing in the future.

In the grander scale of things Ben Feller of The Associated Press probably just goofed. When I stand in the line of my local grocery store and pick up my Sunday paper, The Virginian Pilot, as an impulse buy, I am thinking that I will get some news that I can leisurely read in between the commercials of the CBS Sunday Morning show. I read along and then hit page 6 of my newspaper. Of course I am interested because, “Obama wraps up Asia trip with focus on Russian diplomacy.” I read the article until I hit the second paragraph. Buzz kill: “…Soviet President Dimitry Medvedev…” I stop reading. I want to throw the newspaper in the trash.

For those of you who don’t know the Soviet Union was the principal governing body of Russia, Eastern Europe and Middle Asia from 1922 to 1991. For a United States newspaper and press organisation to call a leader of a country an incorrect government label is like stating that the President of the United States, Barack Obama, is the President of the Confederate States of America. Its dumb and does not make any sense.

Sure this could happen maybe in 1991 or 1992, but in 2010 I think it shows that the psyche of the writer and the editors who are supposed to guide us through the text of professional journalism are stuck in the mire of old thinking. This is detrimental to the newspaper and our society in general because these same pundits who presuppose how ignorant and uniformed the common man is are wondering why we are misinformed.

In all fairness I looked up Mr. Feller’s work and I found that indeed other works he wrote stated correctly the Mr. Medvedev was the president of Russia. This one slipped through the cracks. The crack however was purchased by me for $2.00.

If you want to save the newspaper, you need to earn your keep because today I paid your salary! Lets do the math: Impulse buy = $2.00 per second. That’s $63,072,000 a year. Of course if the people who have money no longer purchase your/a newspaper you can put a (-) in front of that figure. 365 (days a year) * 24 (hours) = 8,760 (hours). 8,760 (hours) * 60 (minutes) = 525,600 (minutes). 525600 (minutes) * 60 (seconds) = 31536000 (seconds (in a year)). 31536000 (seconds in a year) * $2.00 (USD) = $63,072,000. I don’t know about you, but that is a lot of money. If you could focus on the accuracy of reporting then maybe the result would be fecund not faecal.

The AP White House Correspondent needs to realise that what he is writing is critical. If you missssspellllll something I will forgive you, but if you have your head in your 4th point of contact while expostulating the affairs of the world I will remind you to recover and get some fresh air.

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